Here in the United States, we are celebrating Mother’s Day. The holiday reminds me of the Mother’s Days I missed when we lived internationally.
When we made the life-altering decision to move halfway around the world, our families were understandably concerned about how often they would see us. Both mothers voiced their deepest fear in a moment of shared vulnerability: “I’m afraid I’ll never see you again.” (Little did they know that spending two weeks every summer with them was more than enough for them!)
While we never regretted our international journey, some things would not be the same. Our move was before cell phones, social media, and without affordable, reliable, long-distance telephone service. Sure, we sent photos and letters with news about our lives and adventures, but the folks back home missed the wonder of our daughter losing her first tooth, the excitement of a dance recital, and the joy as she learned a new language. Our daughter missed out on the hugs, the laughter, and the exuberance of her U.S.A. family in sharing her milestones.
We shared these moments with our expatriate and local families, as they did with us. It would have been very lonely if we had not developed a community with our international families.
Much has changed since we returned to the U.S.A. Thanks to technology, we keep in touch with our expatriate families, who are now scattered around the globe, through Zoom and other platforms. Our daughter has lasting friendships going back to kindergarten. She fits in the term ‘Third Culture Kid,’ and we consider her an international citizen. I’m glad she found a home in the U.S. while her heart has no geographical boundaries.
Do you share a similar story? I’d love to hear about it. Let’s connect!
Email me at [email protected]
The term Third Culture Kid (TCK) or Adult Third Culture Kid (ATCK) is often used to describe the globally mobile adult who grew up feeling that home is everywhere and nowhere. The TCK may experience cycles of separation and loss, identity issues, unresolved grief and relationship issues that makes them feel they can’t seem to fit anywhere.
Our family decided to return home to the U.S. from when our daughter was coming into adolescence. We wanted to return because we understood that a child who grows up internationally through their teenage years develops an identity independent of their parent’s passport country. I also knew I would eventually settle in my home country of the USA. I wanted my daughter to develop an American identity.
I believe our family developed into global citizens and citizens of the world as a result of our experience. We are proud of these descriptions.
Expatriation and repatriation profoundly shape you. The experience transformed me into the person I have become. Since 1980, my professional work has focused on helping others successfully become global citizens. My work is with national cultures, not diversity, inclusion or equity. I’ve been learning, training, receiving education and practicing in the intercultural field for decades.
Living internationally, and repatriation requires special skills. I can coach you and your family to become culturally-competent sojourners. Research indicates that international work assignments primarily fail or terminate early due to family problems. Surprisingly, they fail because of adjustment issues, not because of job dissatisfaction. Feelings of isolation, health concerns, relationship problems, alcohol issues and children’s problems can be reasons for a failed assignment.
It can be said that returning home is more difficult than expatriation. I think that was true for our family. We had changed. When we returned home, we were not prepared to find that our home also had changed. Our friends, families and the environment all had changed. We were out of the loop. We were strangers in our own land. Our daughter spoke like an American but she didn’t understand the adolescent popular culture or even the currency. People we met said they wanted to hear all about our adventures, but we quickly realized that most people only wanted a 30 second description.
A global enterprise may have a diverse, multi-cultural workforce, a workplace without borders, global teams or an entirely virtual workplace. Organizations today prize a multi-cultural identity, a ‘third culture’ so to speak that is more than a group of diverse individuals.
My expertise is national cultures. My work isn’t diversity, equity, inclusion or language/ accent instruction. National cultures can be described as the set of norms, behaviors and customs within the population of a nation.
Selection: Choosing the right candidate. This is the most important step. Selecting a candidate because the employee knows the work, or the field doesn’t insure the employee and family will be successful. It needs to be the right person for the right job.
Preparation: Assessing the strengths and development areas of the employee and family using interviews, readiness tools, education and skill development.
Cultural Integration: Ongoing employee and family support, coaching, monitoring and intervention during the assignment. Coaching and skill development to build teams and to lead in the international workplace.
Repatriation Preparation and ongoing support to transition to the home culture to enjoy their new identity reintegrate into the workplace.
When things go wrong, I’m the one to call.
These are just a few examples of issues and crises that arise in a global assignment:
I have 40 years of training, education and experience as a workforce consultant and interventionist. I am here to serve as part of your team to prevent or intervene.
Since 1980 I have assisted major employers such as The CDC, higher education institutions and healthcare, Emory University, Emory Healthcare and corporations including Turner Broadcasting and Hitachi America to assess, select, prepare and develop candidates and family for global assignments to the United States and internationally.
Do you need appointments that fit your busy schedule? Do you worry about travel time and gas mileage? Are you concerned about your safety and health in this new era of social distancing? You’re not alone.
And I understand.
I’m not new to online counseling, virtual coaching, and teletherapy. I’m also a Board Certified TeleMental Health Provider.
I meet with clients through a secure video platform called VSee. It is specifically designed for medical and mental health professionals. VSee carries the highest security possible. In addition, by law I practice ‘privileged communication’. VSee is free for clients and easy to use. Just accept my email invitation, and when your device of choice rings, we will automatically see and hear each other. No technology expertise is required. My clients must be in a quiet, confidential setting with no one else in the same room.
With the exception of severe mental illness or serious substance abuse issues, virtual therapy can be very beneficial. Research has found that telemental health therapy is just as beneficial as in-person counseling.
Some examples of issues suited to teletherapy are:
I once read that counseling and psychotherapy is like a talk show and the client is the only guest. Although I am not quick with humor, I am warm, sincere, respectful and down to earth. I will honor you as a valued guest. If I’m not the right counselor for you, I will help you to find what you need.
As a counselor, I practice from an action oriented perspective focusing on wellness, client strengths and skill building to promote growth, develop resiliency and to master life challenges. We hear a lot these days about ‘positive psychology’. Counselors have always practiced positive psychology!
You and I are partners in an interactive process. The process often works best with weekly or every other week appointments. An interactive process produces results fairly quickly, usually months, not years. You will benefit from my feedback that allows you to quickly put into action what you learn.
My feedback allows you to use your insight for faster growth. In individual therapy, the time between sessions is where change occurs: we talk about things, you think them over, make some changes and we continue to refine the process. In couple and group therapy change occurs in real time, during the sessions.
Licensed Professional Counselor, Georgia LPC #001157
Member Of The Year Georgia EAPA 2016/17
This statement says a lot about how I work. I am primarily a cognitive behavioral therapist. CBT means that I won’t be a ‘silent partner’ in your growth who sits in silence with you except for the occasional question of “how do you feel?”
We both know how you feel – sad, depressed, angry, anxious, confused, lonely, and so forth. If you felt good you wouldn’t be coming to see me! Feelings are important; however, I also want to know “what are you thinking?” What are the negative thoughts that prevent you from living the life you that you want?
I believe that what we think causes what we feel and determines our behavior:
Thoughts > Emotions > Behavior
In couples counseling the ‘relationship’ is the client, not each individual person. It is like a third person in the room. In individual counseling we talk about issues and the client goes back to the environment and implements change. In couples counseling real change occurs in the office, the real world is present. This promotes much faster growth and change.
The most common difficulties are communication, trust, infidelity and betrayal, financial problems, sex and intimacy issues, parenting and in-laws. Infidelity takes many forms, including non-physical/ romantic and online.
I have a great history of helping couples even when one refuses to come to counseling. I am skilled at teaching how to talk so your partner will hear you and how to listen to what your partner is saying or not saying, how to effectively argue and to learn about the differences between men and women.
I am trained in the John Gottman, Ph.D. Level 1 Clinical Training: (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, The Relationship Cure, What Makes Love Last, The Men’s Guide to Women, A Couples Guide To Communication). Gottman writes about the ‘sound marital house’ and the importance is not so much how couples communicate or argue but how they make up, the ability to repair difficulties.
I am a Certified Facilitator in Prepare/Enrich Building Strong Marriages: The program utilizes an online, in depth, individualized couples assessment as a starting point for professional sessions to reveal and interpret relationship strengths and areas for development. There are assessments to fit every kind of relationship, married, living together, with children and cultural. This is not a self-study program.
Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman: There are only a few self-help books that I can recommend and this is one of them. Chapman says that we have five different ways that each of us experience and give love: words of affirmation, quality time, touch, gifts, and acts of service. He generously offers a free, online assessment at: 5lovelanguages.com.
Attachment and Commitment in Couples: My most recent interests in marriage and couples work is influenced by the works of Dan Siegel, M.D. and Sue Johnson, Ed.D. Dr. Johnson believes that hurt is composed of anger, sadness and fear – the fear of being excluded, abandoned and rejected. For an interesting, self-help exploration I can recommend the free questionnaires on yourpersonality.net.
PET (Parent Effectiveness Training) I have been certified in the Thomas Gordon, Ph.D., Effectiveness Training Institute since the early 1980’s.
STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) by Dinkmeyer & McKay.
Active Parenting by Michael H. Popkin.
Are you trying to navigate a workplace where there are multiple generations
and struggling to understand the dynamics?
Are you in a frustrating work environment/situation?
Is your boss a bully?
Are you learning how to be a supervisor?
Are you wondering if you should submit your resignation?
Do you lack assertive communication skills at work?
Are you struggling to find a work & life balance?
Are you wondering why you haven’t been promoted?
Are you dealing with difficult people at work?
Please make yourself comfortable in the reception area and fill out paperwork I may have left for you. If you will be using health insurance, please have your card with you, your co pay (cash or check) and any authorization numbers.
It is a good idea to go over these directions with me on the telephone. A 50 minute appointment time will be exclusively reserved for you.
I am almost always on time. Unkept appointments (not cancelled with 24+ hour notice) or very late arrivals are not usually rescheduled.
404-315-7331
[email protected]
https://calendly.com/judycanLPC
I’m happy to offer a 30-minute phone call for us to decide if I am the best provider for you.
My usual office hours are Monday-Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
An unkept appointment with less than 24-hour notice is charged the same fee as a kept appointment.
I typically do not reschedule a new client who cancels a first appointment in less than 24 hours or is a ‘no show’ for the first appointment.
Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC) have legal Privileged Communication in Georgia for therapy clients. Mental health and substance abuse records have a higher level of legal privacy protection than general medical records. There are some exceptions in case of potential harm.
I accept cash, checks, and credit cards. Payment is due at the time of the appointment. I can complete the appropriate form if you need documentation for your health insurance, flexible spending account, HSA, etc.