How we talk to ourselves matters

I have longed for a dog for some years. I have been without any four-legged companion for more than ten years.

No pets seemed very sensible since I lived alone, travelled for work, and worked more at the office than at home. With the pandemic, I gave up my office to virtually work from home, and I now seldom travel for work.

The idea of a dog started rumbling in my mind.

“I can’t”

was the message in my head. I’m too old, dogs require a lot, a rescue needs a lot, a puppy will ruin my rugs, etc. I began talking about the idea, and my family quickly encouraged me with lots of promises to help.

“I can”

After a few months of ruminating, I found myself silently saying, “I can.”

When that message became more persistent in my head, I found myself looking for a dog. This went on for months. But thinking about it made me really anxious. I decided to say nothing to anyone, especially my family.

“I will”

Following much more chatter in my head and episodes of anxiety, my message transformed into “I will.”

This started the decision-making process. Again, loads of anxiety. Three days before I went to pick up my puppy, I was falling apart with anxiety. What am I thinking? There was so much unknown. Am I being fair to a puppy? Am I good enough?

“I want to”

Suddenly, without realizing it, three days before I would pick her up, the message in my head changed to “I want to!” This changed everything. My anxiety completely disappeared, and I was overcome with joy and excitement. She is now almost three and I haven’t had one second of regret. In fact, I hadn’t known this much joy for a very long time.

My ‘gremlin’

Sometimes, the gremlin in my head says, “I’m (or you) are not enough for her – she needs a companion, more people in her life, longer and more frequent walks. When I hear this, I take action – we have doggy play dates, I find open fields where she can run free, we visit stores where she can explore and play with children. We are also training her to visit eldercare facilities and children’s hospitals. She loves all of this. So, when the ‘gremlin’ in my head says I am not enough, I take action.

What messages are rattling around in your head??

I can describe my journey because I try to live in the present, especially to hear what I am thinking and feeling and be aware of my behavior.  I wish I could have said “I want” a lot sooner!

How about you? Are you able to say, ‘I want?’

Let’s talk! Contact me for a complimentary 30-minute consultation to help you on your journey to find ‘joy’ in your life.